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Topic: What do you do when you just don't want to live?

WonderfulClient started this discussion 4.7 years ago #2,727

I'm not going to kill myself or anything...
I'm just wondering how you've dealt with it, when you feel like you really just don't want to live?

Shh joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 1 hour later[^] [v] #0

I've been seriously depressed on a couple of occasions, the first after I got brutally raped and as a result couldn't even leave the house, which cost me my job and almost my marriage too, and the second when I was told my 2 day old daughter might die or have severe developmental problems but nobody could diagnose her and we spent 11 months with her sedated to protect her brain and being passed from doctor to doctor to try to find out what was wrong...

...the first time I wanted to die, the second time I wanted a "way out" but knew I couldn't leave my baby, the first time I rode it out alone, the second I eventually took anti-depressants (SSRIs) just for about 3 or 4 months, to give me a bit of a "leg-up" to help me to get out of the hole I was stuck in.

Since starting therapy, there is something about me that just knows I will never get that low again, and that was to do with a conversation, where I said to my therapist (about depression) "well, it didn't kill me, and I'm still here to tell the tale"... and there's something in me now that knows that whatever happens I will survive, I will be okay, I will come out of the other side.

It's kind of like anon B's advice really, that if you can just hang in there long enough believing that things will eventually get better - then they will

WonderfulClient (OP) replied with this 4.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous A joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 4 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

Perhaps if you can not do anything for yourself your focus can turn to someone else. When I get down, and get really close to ending it I get a 'help them' voice. Sounds stupid, but it gets some stuff done, and gets me moving. Perhaps I have a hero complex. Part of the problem with depression is it causes inactivity. I built some cabinets for my mom. got me out of my funk, got something done, got me exhausted, and out of those thoughts.

WonderfulClient (OP) replied with this 4.7 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Interesting perspective. Very cool. Thanks for sharing.

T joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 1 hour later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

Hnag in there my friend. You are not alone, trust me. I'd like to share this if I may. It helps me a lot sometimes.

Quotes From The Secret Warrior

1. There are no ordinary moments.

2. This moment is the only thing that matters.

3. Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness...if you had little time left to live...you would waste precious little of it. Well, I'm telling you...you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason...or you will never be at all.

4. The first realization of a warrior is not knowing.

5. Every action has it's pleasure and it's price.

6. You haven't yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior's way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability...to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I've shown you by example that a warrior's life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior's sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.

7. Find the love in what you do.

8. Everything has a purpose. It's up to you to find it.

9. If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.

10. Some people live their whole lives without ever waking up.

11. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom.

12. Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew.

13. I call myself a Peaceful Warrior...because the real battles we fight are on the inside.

14. Find your answers from inside.

15. Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...the only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.

16. Those who are hardest to love are the ones who need it most.

17. Throw out everything that is keeping you from this moment.

18. Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. What are you? This moment.

19. There is never nothing going on.

20. Three principles of reality: Paradox, Humor, and Change.

21. There is only the journey.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/515492

T double-posted this 4.7 years ago, 3 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

I'm sorry, it's... The Peaceful Warrior

Molly joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 6 hours later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

I read all of these. They are so amazing. Shh,yours brought out tears. What some people go. Then to see your post yesterday about love.You must have wanted love more then anything else.

I liked the hero complex comment. Even taking the time to give a homeless person 5$ on the street releases the grip od dispare a bit. Any act of kindness. I haven't had severe depression over life since my 20's,and did just wait it out. I think talking here on this forum is such a great gift for you WC. Knowing you have support somewhere in the world from total strangers who share this in common. Xxx

Shh replied with this 4.7 years ago, 11 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
> I read all of these. They are so amazing. Shh,yours brought out tears. What some people go. Then to see your post yesterday about love.You must have wanted love more then anything else.
>
Awww bless you Molly, I guess you take the rough with the smooth in life, we all deal with out hardships somehow and hopefully we grow a little bit from those experiences - that's how I like to think of it anyway!

Pandora joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 1 day later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

Yes. I'm just waiting it out. Staying alive for my family but merely existing.

Marc joined in and replied with this 4.7 years ago, 15 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

No that you don't care about yourself and life, you can do something good. By every good deed for someone you will feel a bit better. If you make someone else happier you will feel a bit better. It helps to fill the void a little.

(Edited 34 seconds later.)

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