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Topic: Cursing problem please help*

Witheld started this discussion 5.1 years ago #2,629

*I POSTED THE SAME QUESTION BUT IT DID NOT SHOW UP SO PLEASE DON'T DELETE THIS ONE*

Hi everyone


I have been developing a problem for the past 2 weeks that has to do with swearing in my head. This is how it started, I was arguing with my little sis and she was antagonizing me and I antagonized her back but of course I wouldn't say anything very hurtful, however in my mind a curse word follows after what I normally say (I.E Dumb *insert swear here in mind*)and its almost completely involuntary which is the scary part. I also have a habit of swearing under my breath but directed at nobody which also scares me. However something happened that is giving me irrational fears (I think). I went to check on my mom to see if she was still here so that I can say goodbye to her when she goes to her business meetings in the evening and I walked to the kitchen and then I cussed at the wall (Stupid B*tch) Like I said this happens but I don't know why. Then i asked myslef "did I just swear to my mom?" and I went downstairs and cried myself to sleep until my dad woke me up to see if I was fine. I don't remember having my mom in my mind but I'm still so incredibly guilty I feel like a subhuman I need help of any kind. Thanks everyone
(Edited 18 minutes later.)

Hexi joined in and replied with this 5.1 years ago, 12 minutes later[^] [v] #0

There are no good or bad words, only words. It's the context and intent, not the word itself, that matters. I curse a lot more in real life than I do here out of habit but to me, they are just words and the purpose of words is to convey intent or meaning. Usually to emphasize a point. You should say the words out loud instead of lending them any reverence. Shit, cunt, fuck is all the same as feces, vagina/annoying person and rough intercourse/darn it.

While you should try to moderate yourself because cussing isn't necessary at all, there is nothing to feel bad about, in my opinion.

Molly joined in and replied with this 5.1 years ago, 35 minutes later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

With held,

My boy is almost 7. He cusses.

One day he came home from school and asked me if A.S.S is a bad word. I said yes,without thinking. He started crying. I realized he asked bc he said the word. I had to wise up. I explained to him pretty much what Hexi already said.

He knows people outside of his home,aren't too thrilled with certain words. So he just knows to respect people's comfort levels,and it keeps him out of trouble. He knows he's allowed to think whatever he wants,and none of it is bad.

I know your irrational fears are taking a hold of you.

Withheld.You can't help your thoughts. You are not bad for cussing. You are being controlled by fear right now.

Let go of fear from cussing.

Do you remember what irrational fear is? Fear of everything that is not right in front of you. The only fear going on is all mental.Its not real.

Once your fear calm down,the cussing will calm down as well. I would suggest facing them.Be the observer of your thoughts.Just observe what crazy thought you have,while not trying to stop it.Observe them without holding onto it out of fear.And then spinning a story out of a random thought that you are NOT controlling.truly know 'fuck' is no different then chair. They are just words. 'ass' is no different then grass. Just words constructed by letters.dont be afraid of letters.

(Edited 10 minutes later.)

Molly double-posted this 5.1 years ago, 10 minutes later, 59 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

I rewrote it if you have already read it.

Molly triple-posted this 5.1 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

Also,this is something you must tell your therapist. Word for word.

Witheld (OP) replied with this 5.1 years ago, 6 days later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

And what about flipping the bird? My mom angrily questioned me for something and when she was gone I flipped the ground off and again that happens.

Molly joined in and replied with this 5.1 years ago, 5 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

Flipping the bird is a way to release anger. Thats healthy! You didnt do it to anyone. You hurt no one,and it needs to come out. Is it turning into an irrational fear,or are you just making sure it's ok?

Witheld (OP) replied with this 5.1 years ago, 27 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

But I kinda did it for fun, sometimes I do it randomly.

Molly replied with this 5.1 years ago, 5 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

It means nothing. It doesn't make you weird or whatever else. We all do something. Well at least I do. I have my own sayings I randomly say. They last for a week or so,then I find another one that entertains me. You are quirky and absolutely amazing. Keep doing what you like. Seriously. Know it means nothing,because it doesn't,and that takes the seriousness away so you can just enjoy whatever it is in that moment.

Molly double-posted this 5.1 years ago, 3 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

Mne is for the past 2 days,"what the fu!" lol it changes all the time. For me it's part comedy part stress reliever. My life is full from morning till night,so it helps relieve seriousness for me. I wonder if that's why you do it?

Witheld (OP) replied with this 5.1 years ago, 14 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
> Flipping the bird is a way to release anger. Thats healthy! You didnt do it to anyone. You hurt no one,and it needs to come out. Is it turning into an irrational fear,or are you just making sure it's ok?

Well, I don't know, I took your advice about the cursing but I did this and then I realized, "snap, did I just do it again?" and broke down. I'm extremely close to my mom which is why it hurts me a lot. She is an amazing person and I would never do anything to hurt her.

Molly replied with this 5.1 years ago, 8 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

Don't feel guilty about getting angry. You'll always get angry and it doesn't really mean anything. Always forgive yourself after anger. Even guilt and remorse is healthy to feel IN THE MOMENT. But if you do not forgive your self right after,it will turn into unworthiness.

Molly double-posted this 5.1 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

Unworthiness can be a life long punishment. This is why holding on to guilt/remorse is self abusing,and makes me sad to see people do this.

(Edited 25 seconds later.)

Witheld (OP) replied with this 5.1 years ago, 5 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

But I was not angry actually, I just did it while thinking, "ha!"

Molly replied with this 5.1 years ago, 48 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

That sounds a little angry to me. Post number (Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.) still makes sense..

Even if you were just being arrogant.it was just in that moment,and means nothing bigger then that.

(Edited 21 seconds later.)

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