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Topic: Just looking for an honest opinion

Anonymous A started this discussion 4.8 years ago #2,628

I'm seriously considering therapy as Dr. Robert suggested(Dr.Robert: A serious dilemma...) but I'd like to get everyone's opinion on something that's been on my mind lately and after this I think it would be best for myself if I left this forum.

Would it be a good idea to try to find my childhood friends and try to apologize? It really bothers me to know that I may have contributed to someone else's suffering, no matter how unintentional it may have been.

If you felt wronged somehow, would a sincere apology even matter to you? Or would you rather just leave it in the past and be left alone because seeing them would bring back all those memories?

Again, just asking for feedback. I'm not asking for someone to solve my problems for me.

Thanks again everyone

Sherry joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 26 minutes later[^] [v] #0

If it was a childhood friend yes I would feel better if that friend did apologize to me.
However, if we go past the childhood years into the twenties to the wrongs and deep hurts
that friends caused,if they have not been resolved by now. I would not want to hear
from them at all.
My reasons would be that the pain runs too deep and has been allowed to go unmended for
too long for me to get past the way I feel about them now. I can only think of one friend
in my past one who ever hurt me that deeply and let it go without correction when she knew
she was in the wrong. Now that 20 years have past I would never want to hear from her again
However, I hear she asks about me as if nothing ever happened when she runs into other
friends we had in common. :(

(Edited 4 minutes later.)

meh joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 18 minutes later, 45 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

hmm..depends on how i would see the situation.

If i felt wronged but also thought you were for instance of an age where you couldn't understand the consequences of your actions (or any other circumstances that i could relate to ) it would make me feel better and i would probably even sympathize with you.

On the other hand, if i felt wronged but angry about it (like you were fully aware and still hurt me..you bastard kind of thing) I would consider that in hurting me you've taken something away from me and would interpret your apology as a request for forgiveness (again something you will "take" from me). If this were the case i think it would just make things worse for both.

anyway..i think that's how i would react but it really depends on the person. you just have to decide if that's what you think is the right way to go and hope for the best.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

dr-robert joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

This is exactly the kind of thing which should be discussed and considered with a therapist, not in an on line group. Again I urge you to get into therapy asap. You need trained personalized help to explore the meaning of all this suffering, not advice and lay opinions about what to do net.
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