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Topic: religion and compromise

EvangelineMade started this discussion 4.8 years ago #2,572

So, my husband and his family (mostly his family) are pushing to get my daughter into religious instruction so that she can make her first communion next year. There are all these requirements to meet if she does this.

If it were only up to me, she wouldn't.

Looking for thoughts on how to compromise. I don't want to see her laden with all the guilt I've suffered with around religion, but he is her father.

Send her and have lots of conversations about how people believe different things? She gets this a little already, since my sister is Muslim.

Ideas?

Hexi joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 10 hours later[^] [v] #0

If you ask me, and I know you never would, you should tell them to fuck off and to ruin the lives of their own kids and keep away from yours.

E: If your husband doesn't want to upset them then he is a fucking pussy who should go live with his family instead. There is no way more sure than religion to fuck up a kid for life.

(Edited 3 minutes later.)

Molly joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 1 hour later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

Hey Evangeline,

Im right there with you. It took awhile to get 'right' in the head after growing up in a religious environment.I still will always have lingering guilt/shame,and thinking I should follow a righteous way of being.Its mind control that doesn't ever just go away.Not with out always having to stay aware of it. You have to do what you are capable of. As for me,that one area I would fight,all the way to divorce,then to subject my kids to that life. The problem of you just telling her everyone is different,and this religion isn't how life really works,is,as moms,we are not the only main teachers in their life. When giving our children over to other teachers,we have to think who are we letting our kids be influenced by? That's how I feel. I know you are in a rough spot,because you do not want to upset hubby.Good luck!

Sylar joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 54 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

That's a tough one. I've never been to keen on the idea of indoctrinating kids with religious ideals; that is a choice that she will have to make some day. Is it Christianity that they are trying to push?

dr-robert joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 48 minutes later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

While telling them to "fuck off" might not be the best way to go about it, I agree with Hexi. I often refrain from giving direct advice, but here I see no possible compromise. What kind of "compromise" could there be? She is your child, and I advise you to fight for her human right not to be indoctrinated with bullshit. Forget what your husband's family wants or doesn't want. That should not even be a factor in your thinking, in my view. This is between you and your husbandthe parentsand I suggest taking the strongest possible line with him about what is best for your daughter--not for the feelings of his family of origin. He has started his own family with you, and owes his best efforts and loyalty to THAT family. Help him to figure that out.

Sylar replied with this 4.8 years ago, 1 hour later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

If you want a nice way to go about it, try asking them to teach it through love and example. "Witness always, use words when necessary."

Jennifer joined in and replied with this 4.8 years ago, 2 hours later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

When Dr Robert really feels strongly about something he says it four times. :P

Molly replied with this 4.8 years ago, 3 hours later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

I know I must really like what he said,bc I read all 4 posts.;) j/k
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