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Topic: I want to

t started this discussion 5.2 years ago #2,539

die.

t (OP) double-posted this 5.2 years ago, 3 minutes later[^] [v] #0

I have so much to be thank ful for but I am never happy..its like I will never be happy...no matter what.. the only thing that brings me happiness is having sexual control over men- or women but mostly men cause they are easier..anyways...when that fades i am sad again..and I keep fantasizing about suicide but feel like im so clumsy I will even mess that up and end up in a worse situation without all the blessings I have now.. I jst wish I wasnt like this... God blessed me with so much.. I feel like I am a disgrace in his eyes since I am so ungrateful

Sifter joined in and replied with this 5.2 years ago, 14 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
T, please find another therapist to at least have a consultation with. You are going through something very confusing and painful and it's not your fault. Everyone has defenses (like seduction), it's the therapist's job to help you through it.
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