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Topic: HELP therapy drama

t started this discussion 5 years ago #2,530

my t is all back and forth and driving me crazy

t (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 10 minutes later[^] [v] #0

u guys all know my tonya drama..so now he wants to be my therapist again and apologized for the way he was acting and that he is so embarassed he just hadnt had a chanance to prepare before and it caught him off guard..that he wants to continue our therapy

Mekay joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
I went through something like this (JUST realized youre Tonya)
with my therapist.

He wanted to refer me b/c of intrigue.. I thought it was because
of my intrigue.. shhh suggested it was his intrigue..
so I'm not sure.

Never the less, he wanted to refer me. It hurt like hell!
Then he changed his mind and said he wanted to work with me
long haul.

It was very confusing.

(Edited 23 seconds later.)

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

did u decide to work with him? I mean I know I shouldnt...I just hate the face of never seeing him again although I know thats what needs to happen at this point

t (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 12 minutes later, 28 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

I am really freaking out

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 32 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

Yes I did decide to continue working with him..
and we honestly had some of our best sessions AFTER
that.

However, it has always left me confused and wondering..
And deeply worried about his abandonment again.
(they don't realize how traumatizing this little indecisive behavior
can be for a client)

Holy crap! In stead of client I typed child at first!
Freudian slip!! Seriously. wow.

Anyway, I felt at the time he was helping me and was confused
as to why he wanted to refer when I was making great strides.

I also got out of my parents house, into my own place, back in school,
got my CNA, and got 2 jobs under his care after that.

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 33 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

are u talking about N?!

t (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 35 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

.............

(Edited 1 hour later.)

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 5 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

Yep. Talking about N. We connected very well..
well enough for me to trust him and improve.
which was unspeakable with a therapist before.

If you know that .. then you know you're not going
to get anywhere with him.

His self disclosure harmed the work,
and it's time to move on.

That's the cold hard truth of it.
You said so yourself.. you'll be trying to seduce him.
You'll be paying money to win his attraction back.

You already know it's not a good idea.
But your addiction to him has you tempted to continue seeing him.

Very hard situation.. b/c this is the perfect environment for you
to to re enact your abuse with him and avoid healing.

That is very tempting for anyone with deep issues
that require hard work and healing.

it's ultimately your decision lady.

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 45 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

:( I hate him he drives me crazy such a tease lol

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 49 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
See? you have already sexualized your relationship
with him completely.

I am not sure those are good ingredients for effective therapy.
I can't judge though, because I would want to see N too even
knowing that we both wanted each other sexually.

Except, I know I wouldn't attempt to seduce him.
If he attempted to seduce me though.. I am not sure I could say no.

Since your therapist has made it clear he wants you sexually...
that's a temptation for him too.

Therapy will be difficult unless the sexual stuff subsides for one of you..
preferably the therapist so the boundaries can be kept in place.

Are you ready for either what feels like rejection..
or possibly what could be a very regrettable boundary violation?

I know it's hard.. but you'll have to pull yourself out of the fantasy
clouds for a moment to think about it.

I know those clouds.. I dwell in them too.
I hate it.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 8 minutes later, 58 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

I know it is hard...and I wouldnt just come out and seduce him like hit on him...but I know I would prolly keep talking about sexual things and my sexuality especially since now I know it was getting to him...I wont be doing it on pupose compleely but I know I will not be able to stop myself..and it surely will feel like rejection if he rejects me even though I know I should.. and btw hmmmmmm I didnt know n tried to refer u when u told him about ur transferrence...makes me think he was probably feeling it too and didnt know if he could help process it w u hmmm just sayin

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
Well.. at first he was ok with my transference.. and said
it was ok to talk about it.

then later he apologized about saying that.. and that he shouldn't have.
(confuuusiiiing haha)

then I sent him a letter.. his supervisor didn't like it..
and he tried to refer me..

He said it was b/c his supervisor was worried about intrigue.
It was SO vague.

I am certain it was my intrigue since I sent the letter.
He seemed a little angry with me over the letter.
My guess is his supervisor didn't like the contents.

(Edited 50 seconds later.)

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

what did u say in the letter

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
it's sort of a long story.
when we were going up the stairs I turned back
to look at him and he was shielding his eyes.

I immediately took that as he was trying to make me
feel comfortable (completely serious here) b/c I was so insecure about him
being behind me and my body.

You know the way you shield your eyes when the sun is in them?
He was doing that.

He said he did not remember doing that.. and that it was no
different than how he would be with any other client.
(that sounded like something him and his supervisor talked about to me
it was scripted sounding)

He was doing that. I saw him. He had never done that before.
We never take the stairs anymore either.
It's VERY rare.

I wrote him a letter telling him how sweet it was to tap into that
and connect with me in such a way that he would spare me embarrassment
by shielding his eyes.

That's what I really thought it was.

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 36 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

.......................................

(Edited 26 minutes later.)

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
It's ok it turned him on.. that's perfectly normal.
You didn't need to know that though.

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
ugh.. the supervisor thing is annoying.. yea sounds like he was being coached or something.. that is sweet though... I think I remember u writing that so long ago when I started going on here

t (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 37 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

I think mine is consulting with another therapist and thats why he is acting different now

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
That's a good thing. maybe he just had a freak out moment.. but I still think
he revealed too much.

(Edited 12 minutes later.)

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

I think he revealed too much too...I have now seen him as a real person...and it would be hard to go back now

Mekay replied with this 5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

So then there ya go.
You have answered your own question.
You know what you should do.

Stay strong. Your instincts are going to
be right most of the time.

It's in our nature to ignore our instincts, however.
You'll have to decide.

t (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 38 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
I hate when they lie.. mine has blatantly lied.................................So I know they will lie to CYA. Not cool.

(Edited 11 minutes later.)

Sally joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

I hate it when supervisors get involved..
My therapist beacame more "professional" and went into formal mode after he came onto the scene. You can really tell the "scripted" stuff Lol.

(Edited 1 hour later.)

t joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 18 hours later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

i know I hate it. Now that he is trying to be my t again he is acting all fake formal
:
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