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Topic: is my psychiatrist in love with me?

Anonymous A started this discussion 5.8 years ago #1,666

hi there. i really need some help as i've just had my fourth session with my university psychiatrist, and our session has taken on a entirely new vibe. he is a very friendly, smart and sweet man, however, i noticed a few things during our third session that caused me to feel intense erotic transference for him after we had finished. I had had no feelings whatsoever before out third session, but during it I decided to recount to him how I'd become paranoid that my father had sexual feelings towards me as a child. He then spent the rest of the session asking me about my sex life, balanced with alot of good helpful analysis.

I am a bit worried as I am a model and before I told him this, I smiled at him, and he appeared a bit all over the place and looked away, and after that seemed to take a shining to me! In our fourth session, he swanned to his chair rather lovesick, lovingly announcing 'and here we are again!', to the point where it was just overpowering and I could barely look him in the face. I find him very helpful and it might just be his manner, but is there a chance he's becoming a bit lovesick? I know I am, and I keep smiling at him because I can't stop feeling flustered in his presence anymore! He was quite abrupt balanced with natural sweetness and kindness in our first two sessions, and I would say hes eccentric, but it now seems very personal and strong like hes come alive. I am 21, he is mid forties but I am very attracted. He also slipped out that he likes my smile, then said laugh, to talk about why I might be laughing during our sessions as past of my way of dealing with my emotions. He keeps things professional in his discussion, but his tone and the way he was so dreamful and adoring in his voice makes me feel very confused! He is, I think, quite eccentric and jolly though impatient, is this just his personality? Please help anyone!

p.s my choice of description for him may sound romanticised and wishful but i'm an english student lol

(Edited 20 hours later.)

EvangelineMade joined in and replied with this 5.8 years ago, 8 minutes later[^] [v] #0

He may think you're nice/interesting/intriguing, but no, he's probably not in love with you. Attracted to you maybe.

And of course it could be projection, and you're seeing what you want to see. Does it feel like you're falling in love with him?

Cassandra joined in and replied with this 5.8 years ago, 58 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

Yeah, he's totally smitten and this will have affect your therapy.
Don't discount, dismiss or doubt your intuition.
He's got a crush on you.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 5.8 years ago, 52 seconds later, 10 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

very much so but i have kind of gone off him lol after him acting like that yesterday. he has picked me up for projecting because i was saying he was uncomfortable when i was!

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 5.8 years ago, 5 minutes later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

> Yeah, he's totally smitten and this will have affect your therapy.
> Don't discount, dismiss or doubt your intuition.
> He's got a crush on you.

thing is, he is very very eccentric and lively in his manner and in a consultant psychiatrist role. i wouldnt believe someone like this would dare show their attraction like this? I am just so confused about whether i am being paranoid and seeing what i want, but he was so dreamy when he spoke lol. he is also very helpful though, and he is definietly helping me work through things, just so many moments hes soooo friendly. could he not just be an eccentric jolly pscye?

Cassandra replied with this 5.8 years ago, 29 minutes later, 45 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #0

People can't help showing feelings through body language, eyes, facial expression. And if he's so out there (lively), he WON'T be all careful and controlled.
You saw it. You know you saw it.

(Edited 35 seconds later.)

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 5.8 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

> People can't help showing feelings through body language, eyes, facial expression. And if he's so out there (lively), he WON'T be all careful and controlled.
> You saw it. You know you saw it.

he is quite studious, smart and respected, i dont know if im associating him with all my university professors, which i know is irrelevant lol, but i go to an elite uni, would you have to be more respected to treat students here? probably a totally dumb question, but he seems very intellectual and has published things. i dont know if this is common, maybe im easily impressed!

Cassandra replied with this 5.8 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

I don't quite know what you're asking?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 5.8 years ago, 7 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

> Transference... you feel your father may be attracted to you in that way, and you are responding to your psych accordingly.
>
> I daresay he can see your attractiveness, but that is nowhere near the same as being in love with you or wanting you sexually.
>
> I guess there may be other issues with your father too?

i shouldnt have asked if he was in love, way blown out of props. i'm just worried im making him more attracted to me by being so smiley though im just embarassed to look him in the face.

i didnt really talk about my father much but it might have been the reason why the feelings came on so sudden after sharing it with someone, there are no other real issues with my father apart from being incredibly intimidated by him. i have social anxiety. but i do find my psych attractive for his own qualities that are different to my fathers, like being so endearing, kind, gentle and happy!

(Edited 5 minutes later.)

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 5.8 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)

> I don't quite know what you're asking?

i guess i find it hard to believe that someone in a respected position would act in such a way. then again youre right in saying i did sense it. im now trying to make sure im not getting it wrong by seeking out other explanations like it being the eccentric mad psychiatrist persona role he seems to emanate lol.

(Edited 5 minutes later.)

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 5.8 years ago, 18 hours later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

@OP

> hi there. i really need some help as i've just had my fourth session with my university psychiatrist, and our session has taken on a entirely new vibe. he is a very friendly, smart and sweet man, however, i noticed a few things during our third session that caused me to feel intense erotic transference for him after we had finished. I had had no feelings whatsoever before out third session, but during it I decided to recount to him how I'd become paranoid that my father had sexual feelings towards me as a child. He then spent the rest of the session asking me about my sex life, balanced with alot of good helpful analysis. I am a bit worried as I am a model and when I smiled at him during this session, he seems a bit all over the place and looked away, and after that seemed to take a shining to me! In our fourth session, he swanned to his chair rather lovesick, lovingly announcing 'and here we are again!', to the point where it was just overpowering and I could barely look him in the face. I find him very helpful and it might just be his manner, but is there a chance he's becoming a bit lovesick? I know I am, and I keep smiling at him because I can't stop feeling flustered in his presence anymore! He was quite abrupt balanced with natural sweetness and kindness in our first two sessions, and I would say hes eccentric, but it now seems very personal and strong like hes come alive. I am 21, he is mid forties but I am very attracted. He also slipped out that he likes my smile, then said laugh, to talk about why I might be laughing during our sessions as past of my way of dealing with my emotions. He keeps things professional in his discussion, but his tone and the way he was so dreamful and adoring in his voice makes me feel very confused! He is, I think, quite eccentric and jolly though impatient, is this just his personality? Please help anyone!


Be your own best judge of what he feels for you. Do not take the word of people
(women) who do not know you or him. You are the one sitting in the room alone with
him. "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors", as the old song says, other than
the two people behind the closed doors.

(Edited 4 minutes later.)

Mekay joined in and replied with this 5.8 years ago, 15 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #0

(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
what does it matter that we are women??

anon joined in and replied with this 5.2 years ago, 6 months later, 6 months after the original post[^] [v] #0

I agree ... trust your intution. Psychiatrists and therapists etc are oh so quick to put things like this down to the patient being 'delusional' because it would damage their reputations if they were to admit otherwise, but I know from first hand experience that what you've described can happen. Whether or not it could or would ever be pursued is unlikely though. Reputation means everything to these 'professionals'.

T joined in and replied with this 5.2 years ago, 5 hours later, 6 months after the original post[^] [v] #0

I started out asking this same question and in the end my intuition was correct..
:
[upload]

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